Murder by Smashing
by gamer4
Summary: When the Smash Bros. are invited to dinner at a mansion, they're challenged to solve a murder that hasn't happened yet. Based off the movie, Murder by Death. Rated for safety.
1. Opening Chapter

Gamer4 in. Well, I just thought of this fic the other day. I got the idea when I watched the movie this is based on, Murder by Death. This story is also partly inspired by SneakyKitty's Clue at the Crazy Hand Mansion. Well, that's about all I have to say.

Disclaimer: I don't own Super Smash Bros. or Murder by Death, which, as I've said already, this is based on.

Murder by Smashing

Chapter 1

Opening Chapter

It was a dark night. Rain lashed against the windows as a figure sat at a desk by a fire. He was writing a bunch of letters, all of which said the same thing.

_Dear __

_You are cordially invited to this mansion for dinner with the other heroes (and villains) of the world. Come to 333 Game-and-Watch lane. You may bring one or two friends. _

Finishing the final letter, he put them in their envelopes, putting them on the table as he did so.

_Mario Mario, Bowser, DK, Yoshi, Wario, Link, Samus Aran, Kirby, Fox Mcloud, Wolf O'Donnell, Captain Falcon, Red, Marth, Ness, Solid Snake._

He put the last envelope on the desk. "Crazy!" he called out. Into his room burst a giant, flying, left-hand glove, who immediately began zooming around almost impossibly fast.

"Whatup, boss?" Crazy asked as he climbed up the wall and dropped on the ground.

"Stamp these envelopes and mail them, will you?" the figure asked, pushing the letters towards him. "Make sure they get to the right addresses this time." Last time he'd trusted Crazy with a delivery, a letter addressed to Mario had gone to somewhere in China.

"I get it right this time, boss!" Crazy said, throwing the stamps on the letters almost randomly.

"Make sure you do," the figure ordered.

"You sure they come?"

"Oh, they will, all right. I have no doubts. And if those letters end up in the wrong places, I will kill you myself."

"Got it, boss!" Crazy shouted, shooting down the hall, leaving the figure to wonder why he'd hired the hand in the first place.

XXXX

The next day, in the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario was taking a walk. When he got back to the castle, Toadsworth ran up to him. "A letter came for you, Mario," he said, handing it to him.

"Thank you, Toadsworth," Mario said as he took the letter. He looked down at it and read it. He took it inside to show Peach and Luigi. "Hey, guys," he said when he found them. "A letter a-came for me in the mail."

"What is it, bro?" Luigi asked.

"It's an invitation," Mario said. "To dinner at a mansion. It says a can bring a couple of friends. Should we go for it?"

"Why not?" Peach asked.

"Well, it's tonight, we'd better get ready," Mario said.

XXXX

Bowser was in his castle, plotting his next scheme, when Kamek came in and spoke. "King Bowser," he said.

"What is it, Kamek?" Bowser asked, looking at him. "I'm very busy right now, so make it quick."

"You just got a letter, King Bowser," Kamek said, holding it out. Bowser took it and read through it.

"Invited to dinner, huh?" he said, looking at it. "I can't turn that down."

He looked out the window. "Well, I'm not doing anything else tonight anyway..."

XXXX

In Hyrule, Link was in the castle. He and Zelda were talking to each other, with Toon Link running around the room.

"I don't know what to do about it, Link," Zelda said. "I don't even know how he got here in the first place."

"Is there anything you can think of?"

"Not really," Zelda said. Their conversation was interrupted by a voice coming through the castle.

"HEEEEEYYYYYY!" the voice said. They turned to see the postman turning around the corner. He ran towards them. "I got a letter for Link."

"Thank you," Link said, taking the letter from him. "Now please, never deliver anything to me again."

"I agree," Zelda said, wiping up where her drink had spilled when she'd jumped.

Link opened the envelope and read through the letter. "It looks like I'm invited to a dinner," Link said. "It says I'm allowed to bring two people."

He looked at Zelda and the cartoon version of himself running around the room. "You think we should go for it?"

"Sure," Zelda said. "Let's get ready."

"Hey, Toon Link, we're going to a party!" Link shouted at Toon Link.

"A party?" Toon Link asked. "Oh, boy!"

XXXX

One by one, each of the heroes or villains got their letters. All of them got ready for one of the most eventful nights of their lives.

Well, that's all for now. Please R&R, unless you're going to flame. Please don't flame, but constructive criticism is fine. Gamer4 out.


	2. The Smashers

Gamer4 in. Well, I don't have anything to say.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Murder by Death or Smash Bros. (Unless you count a copy of each.)

Chapter 2

The Smashers

"What a place to get-a lost," Mario said, climbing out of the car the three were coming in. It was a very foggy night, and it was hard to see anything.

"Well, at least we're-a next to a telephone," Luigi said, pointing to a conveniently placed telephone on the side of the road.

"I'll see if I can call the mansion," Peach said, coming forward and starting to dial the telephone. As it rang, Mario and Luigi looked around.

XXXX

Back at the mansion, the figure that had written the letters picked up the phone. Without talking once, he cut the phone cord.

XXXX

On the road, Peach was talking into the phone. "Hello? Hello? Hello?"

"Isn't anyone a-picking up?" Mario said, looking back.

"Someone did," Peach said, "but it sounds like someone cut the cord on the other side."

With this, she hung up again.

XXXX

On a different road, Ganondorf and Bowser were just as lost. "Where are we?" Ganondorf was saying.

"I don't know. _You're _the one with the map."

"So you're saying this is _my _fault? It's _your_ clownmobile that just broke down!"

"It's a hi-tech air fighting machine!"

"It's a clownmobile, you stupid turtle!"

With this, Bowser jumped at him and they began brawling.

XXXX

Back on the road, there was one group that hadn't stopped. DK and Diddy were driving down the road on a couple of the cars from Diddy Kong Racing.

"The fog is really thick, isn't it, DK?" Diddy asked as they sped down the road.

"I just hope we can find the place," DK agreed.

XXXX

Down another road were Link, Zelda, and Toon Link. Toon Link was talking non-stop. "Boy, look at all this fog. I can barely see where we're going! You know what I think, Link?"

"No, but I'll bet a hundred rupees your going to tell me."

"It's the perfect place for a murder!"

"Can you please calm down, Toon Link?" Zelda said in a quieter voice.

"Yeah. This conversation is getting too much like some of the shows on Disney channel: unnecessary."

XXXX

Back at the mansion, the figure was going around, making sure the doors creaked, loosening the floorboards, etc.

XXXX

Back on the road, Yoshi was carrying the Ice Climbers there on his back. "Thanks for taking us, Yoshi," Popo said.

Nana was looking at the invitation. "Hey, Yoshi," she asked.

"Yes?" Yoshi asked, looking back.

"Do you even _know _this Game-and-Watch guy?"

"Kind of," Yoshi said, running a bit faster.

XXXX

In the sky, Kirby and Meta Knight were flying the Halberd to the party. "Good thing we're high up," Meta Knight said, looking back. "That fog down there looks pretty thick."

"Thanks for the ride, Meta Knight," Kirby said. "I didn't know how I was going to get there."

"Well," Meta Knight said back, "you were taking me, so I took my Halberd."

XXXX

In another part of the sky, Fox and Falco were flying to the party too. "Thanks for coming with me, Falco," Fox said.

"Hey, wouldn't miss it," Falco said. "Who else will be there, do you think?"

"I don't know," Fox said. "I don't know who'll be able to get through that fog down there."

XXXX

Meanwhile, Captain Falcon and Olimar were zooming down the road in the Blue Falcon.

"So, where are we going again?" Olimar asked.

"To Game-and-Watch's mansion," Falcon said. "He invited us to dinner."

"Still, something seems wrong about this," Olimar said. "I can feel it in my bones."

"What could possibly be wrong?"

"I think you just set it up."

XXXX

On the side of the road, Red was walking. Beside him were Jigglypuff and Pikachu. Charizard was using fire to guide them through. "Good thing we have Charizard," Jigglypuff said. "I don't think we'd be able to get through this without him."

"I agree," Red said. "I can't even see my hand in front of my face."

"Me neither!" Pikachu said. "I can't wait to get to the mansion."

XXXX

Marth and Ike, meanwhile, were walking too. They had Ness and Lucas with them, who were using fire to clear the fog. "Man," Marth was saying, "lucky we found these two."

"Lucky for us, too," Ness said, throwing more fire forward. "We had no idea where the mansion was."

"It's good all around," Ike was saying. "Let's just hope we get to the mansion soon."

XXXX

Down the final road leading to the mansion, Sonic was driving Snake's car like a maniac. "Why are you going so fast?" Snake asked.

"It's kind of what I do," Sonic answered.

"Well, do you mind slowing down?"

"Oh, okay," Sonic said. As the truck slowed, he said, "but I still think this is all pointless."

"Nobody asked you," Snake said.

"You did, right before we left," Sonic said.

"That was then," Snake said.

"Well, you're slowing me down now."

"Can you go even one day without going fast, or complaining about not doing it?"

"Of course I can!"

"I bet you can't."

"I'll take you up on that!" Sonic said just as the car stopped moving.

"What's going on?" Sonic said, looking around.

"Looks like we're out of gas," Snake said, pointing to the dashboard.

"I saw a station about five miles ago," Sonic said.

"Well," Snake said, pulling a container out of nowhere, "when you get back, I'll be right here."

Sonic glared at him and jumped out of the car.

That's all for now. Sorry if it wasn't the best. Anyway, please R&R, constructive criticism is fine, flames are bad. Gamer4 out.


	3. The Hyrule Guests

Gamer4 in. Okay, nothing to say.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Super Smash Bros. or Murder by Death.

Chapter 3

The Hyrule Guests

As Link, Zelda, and Toon Link continued through the fog, Toon Link started asking questions again. "Where are we going again? Who's this Game-and-Watch guy? Why did he invite you to a party? Why with other heroes and villains? What's the capital of Idaho? What-"

Link cut him off by saying, "You know what? These questions are like Ganondorf: after a while, they're VERY IRRITATING!"

"Calm down, Link!" Zelda said.

"I'll calm down when-" suddenly, he stopped talking.

"When what?" Toon Link asked curiously.

"Stop the car, please," Link said, looking over at his toon self.

"What's going on?" Zelda asked.

"Stop the car, _please_," Link repeated. Toon Link (yes, for some strange reason, Toon Link was driving) put his foot on the breaks. They slowed to a stop. "Shut the engine off." Toon Link took the key out.

"What's this about, Link?" Zelda whispered up.

"I thought I heard a cat."

"A cat? So what?" Toon Link said, staying quiet.

"If I'm not wrong, and I rarely am-"

"Ah, nice and humble," Zelda said, looking at him.

"Well, excuse me, princess," Link said before continuing. "If I'm not wrong, the cat belongs to Samus Aran."

"Who the heck is Samus Aran?" Toon Link asked, looking over. Suddenly, a woman looked in the car.

"I am," she said. "Have any of you seen an old-" here, she noticed Link. "Link!" she said.

"An old Link?" Toon Link said, confused.

"Link Faron," Samus said, putting her hand in the car. Link took it. "I haven't seen you in a while. What are you doing on this road?"

"Probably the same as you," Link said. "Looking for Mr. Game-and-Watch's house."

"You got an invitation too, then?" asked a new voice. From behind Samus, there came an angel.

"You got an invitation too, Pit?" Link asked.

"No, Samus asked if I'd come with her."

"I wonder what Game-and-Watch needs when he invites two heroes- both of which are likely to bring friends- to his house," Zelda said thoughtfully.

"It must be important," Pit said. "I wonder if anyone else was invited?"

"Could be," Link said. "Oh, this is my cartoon clone, Toon Link," he added, gesturing towards him.

"How did that happen?" Samus asked, looking at the toon.

"Actually, I'm not really sure," Link answered. "Well, we'll probably see each other at the mansion."

"Yeah, just watch out on the road, it's dangerous," Samus said.

"Oh, dangerous roads are like black potions," Link said, but was stopped from finishing when Toon Link suddenly turned the key and floored it.

"You idiot!" Link shouted, turning to Toon Link. "You didn't let me finish the potion story!"

"I didn't think there was a reason," Toon Link said.

"You're an idiot!"

"Calm down, Link," Zelda said.

"I AM CALM!"

XXXX

Eventually, a way down the road, a while after Link calmed, the three came to a bridge. "Wow," Toon Link said, looking forward at it. "I don't think we can drive across that, Link."

"One way to find out," Link said, grabbing Zelda as he jumped out of the car. "Drive across."

"Aren't you gonna come with me?" Toon Link asked, looking at him.

"The weight of three people might be too much for the bridge," Link said.

"Why am _I_ driving across?" Toon Link asked frantically.

"Because I was forced into bringing you here, because I was smart enough to get out first, and because I'll destroy you if you don't!"

"Why else?" Toon Link asked nervously.

"NOW, TOON!"

"Okay," Toon Link said, and began going across the bridge at about one mile every five weeks. As he slowly drove, it began collapsing. About halfway across, he looked out of the window and called back to Link. "I don't think I'll make it!"

"Don't worry!" Link called back. "Zelda and I will find another way!"

Nervously, Toon Link continued across, going just as slowly. It continued to groan under the car's weight. Finally, he arrived on the other side. He jumped out of the car and called back to the two others. "I made it!"

"Good! Now come back and get us!" Link shouted back. Zelda looked at him weirdly as Toon Link, looking frightened again, got back in the car.

XXXX

Back at the mansion, the figure was on the roof, looking out at the front of the house. Slowly, he picked up a stone gargoyle and put it on the edge of the railing, looking down again.

XXXX

Back in the car, Zelda and Link had climbed back in. They were coming up on the mansion. When they arrived, they jumped out of the car and started walking up to the front door. "Finally, we're here," Zelda said. "Come on, let's get in."

"Hold up," Link said, holding a hand up to stop them. "Something's not right here."

"What is it, Link?" Toon Link asked, looking at him.

"Do what I say," Link said. "When I say jump, jump. One, two, three, jump!"

All three jumped to the side, just in time. When they looked back, they saw a gargoyle crashing to earth. "Holly Nayru!" Zelda shouted.

"How did you know, Link?" Toon Link asked.

"Look down there," Link said, pointing to where they'd just been standing. There were three pairs of footprints drawn there with chalk, right where they'd been standing. "Someone's gone to some lengths to make us unwelcome."

"Well, let's ring the doorbell!" Toon Link said, jumping forward.

"Are you two crazy?" Zelda asked. "Someone's trying to kill us!"

"Yeah, this will be an exciting weekend," Link said. "Ring the doorbell please, Toon."

Toon Link reached forward and pushed the button. As soon as he did, there was a loud, shrill, scream in the house.

"What's that?" Toon Link asked wildly.

"They're killing someone in there!" Zelda shouted.

"Settle down!" Link shouted over both of them.

"Didn't you hear that scream?" Zelda asked.

"No, _you two _heard a scream. What _I _heard was the doorbell. Try again." With this, he pushed the button again. As he did, they heard the scream. "I'd say Game-and-Watch has a weird sense of humor."

"You think?" Zelda asked sarcastically as the door opened. Behind it was a gigantic left hand inside a glove.

"Hey, hey, hey!" he said. "It's Crazy Hand!"

"Who are you?" Link asked.

"I'm the butler! Good evening! We've been expecting you!"

"In what condition?" Zelda shouted at him.

"You're roof needs to be fixed," Link commented.

"Yeah, it getting old! You have a good trip? Besides the storm, I mean."

Link and Zelda looked back outside. There was still nothing but fog. Toon Link, meanwhile, was looking out the window. "Wow, look at that!" he shouted, pointing. The two turned to see a storm raging outside the window. Looking back through the door, they saw the mist, but aside from that, all was calm.

"This is weird weather," Link commented. "Is it always like this here?"

"Nah, that just one of Game-n'-Watch's toys!"

"Charming guy," Zelda commented, as fake lightning crashed.

"Let me show you room!" Crazy said. "You Mario, Luigi, and Peach, right?"

"No, Link, Toon Link, and Zelda," Zelda said. She wasn't sure whether to extend her hand or not.

"Oh! I get you to your room!" With this , he began walking up the stairs with two of his fingers, evidently trying to be as calm as possible.

"So, where's Game-and-Watch?" Link asked as they climbed the stairs to the west wing.

"He show up after dinner!" Crazy said.

"So he's not eating with us?" Toon Link asked, confused.

"No, he eating out tonight."

Suddenly, they heard a loud barking. Toon Link jumped into Zelda's arms, Scooby-Doo style, crying, "What's that!"

"Oh, that just the cat," Crazy said.

"That's a cat?" Zelda asked, dropping Toon Link to the ground.

"You're feeding it dog food?" Toon Link asked as he jumped onto his feet again.

"It a very angry cat," Crazy said. "It no like being fixed."

As they continued on, the three glanced at each other nervously. "Big house, huh, Link?" Toon Link asked.

"Big houses are like stuck clocks: hard to get around."

"Ah, we here!" Crazy said, going to a door.

"Kind of cold, isn't it?" Zelda said, looking around.

"I take care of that!" Crazy said, sounding proud. "There nice fire in room!"

They opened the door to see that there _was _a fire in the room- on the bed. Link rushed forward with his boomerang and threw it. It turned into a mini-tornado and put the fire out before coming back to his hand.

"Sorry if it a bit smoky," Crazy said. "Fireplace not used in years. You need anything, just ring."

"Is there a bell-pull?" Zelda asked.

"Yes, right there," Crazy said. As he pointed, his finger accidentally hit Link, who went flying into the bed.

"Well," he said, getting to his feet again, "at least it's warm."

Suddenly, they all heard a shrill scream. "The doorbell!" Crazy said, rushing downstairs.

"Wow, he's creepy," Toon Link said, looking at the others. "Why would someone hire an insane hand for a butler?"

"Very cheap, for one thing," Link said, looking at them as he sat down on the bed. The others sat down with him. He was right: it was warm. "I doubt someone like that would know or care how much he was being paid."

Well, that's all for now. Please R&R, but flames are bad. Constructive criticism is fine. Gamer4 out.


	4. More Guests Arrive

Gamer4 in. And, as usual, I have nothing to say.

Disclaimer: I will probably never own Smash Bros. or Murder by Death.

Chapter 4

More Guests Arrive

Back at the entrance, Peach, Samus, and Pit were sitting on a bench next to the door. Samus had a cat sitting on the chair next to her. Mario and Luigi were pacing around. They'd let themselves in when they saw that the door was open. Peach was the first to speak. "Lucky Samus brought her cat, or that gargoyle would have crushed us."

"Yeah, though I admit I didn't bring him for that," Samus said. "So, do you guys know what all this is about?"

"No, but there-a might be a reason for inviting heroes and villains," Luigi said.

"You'd think someone would have answered by-a now," Mario said, looking around. He went to ring the doorbell again, but Peach spoke again.

"Oh, don't ring again, please. Knock, don't ring."

Mario turned back, closing the door behind him. As he did, someone came rushing forward. They looked up to see a giant, gloved hand rushing past them. It flew to the door, swung it open, and spoke. "Good evening! We been expecting yous!"

"We're already in," Pit said, standing up.

"Good evening! We been expecting yous!" the hand shouted, turning to them, closing the door as he did.

"An insane hand for a butler," Samus commented, looking at the others. "This isn't normal."

"I shows you to your rooms!" the hand said excitedly. "You Link, Zelda, and Toon Link?"

"No, we're-a Mario, Luigi, Peach, Samus, and Pit," Mario said.

"Oh! I take you to rooms!"

As they followed him up the staircase, Peach spoke again. "So, what's your name?"

"Hand!"

"Okay," Peach said, putting her hand forward. "What about my hand?"

"No, that my name!"

"What's your name?" Pit asked.

"Hand!"

"Your name is Hand?" Peach asked.

"Yes! Crazy Hand!"

"That's-a weird," Luigi said. "Anyways, does anyone here know the difference between a manor and- "

"My brother's name!" Crazy said, turning to them.

"What?" Luigi asked.

"Master! Master Hand! He's back at home right now!"

"Your brother is-a Master Hand?" Mario asked, looking at him.

"Oh, leave it alone!" Samus said, holding one of her hands to her head.

"You bring cat?" Crazy asked.

"Yeah, I got him last time I came back to earth," Samus said as her cat mewed again. "Is that going to be a problem?"

"No, no, it all right!" Crazy said, flying to one of the doors. "This your room, Pit and Samus!"

"Thank you," Samus said, going with Pit into the room.

"And this you three's!" Crazy said, pointing out another room to Mario, Luigi, and Peach. "I calls you down at dinner!"

Peach screamed as they walked in. There was dust on all of the furniture. The bed was set for three people, so had three times as much dust. There were spider-webs all around the room, and a mouse ran across at her scream. Crazy, also hearing the scream, shouted, "Teh doorbell!"

"No, that was-a Peach," Mario said, looking at the hand.

"Peaches at teh door?" Crazy asked, looking confused.

"No, she's-a right here," Luigi said.

"Yes, I am, and I can't stay here for a whole night!" Peach said.

"Sorrys, but teh boss said you stays here tonight!"

"It's-a okay, Crazy," Mario said, looking at him. "We'll-a do fine."

Just as he said this, a knock echoed through the house, sounding more like it was coming from the back door.

"I gets that!" Crazy said, rushing out at high speed. Mario, Luigi, and Peach stared after him.

"Well, this house is-a strange," Luigi pointed out.

"Way to-a go, Sherlock," Mario said sarcastically. He then started looking over the room. "Flour?" he wondered out loud.

"What about flowers?" Peach asked.

"No, flour," Mario said, touching the "dust." "This dust is flour." He put a little of the web in his mouth, then said, "and cotton candy."

"What's it all about?" Peach wondered out loud.

"I'm not-a sure," Luigi said.

XXXX

Back on the ground floor, Crazy was rushing into the kitchen. As he hurried to the door, he heard a loud scream. "I be there in a moment!" he called out. He opened the door to the kitchen. Standing there was R.O.B., who looked around for a second, before coming in. "You teh cook?" Crazy asked.

R.O.B. reached into a case he'd brought with him and pulled out a letter. It said, _The name's Robot Operating Buddy, R.O.B. for short. Sorry, but my programmers messed up when they were designing me, and I came out mute and deaf. Sorry for any inconvenience. _

Unfortunately, Crazy had never learned to read, though it wasn't because nobody had tried to teach him. "Here the list of things to make for teh guests!" he said, throwing a piece of paper onto the table behind R.O.B., who looked at it for a second, then pulled another letter out of his case. This time, it said, _Sorry for the further inconvenience, but I also am incapable of reading or writing. This letter was written for me. _Under this was the Nintendo seal. Crazy, not noticing this, rushed out to get the door. R.O.B. looked around for a second, then sat down in the nearest chair, figuring the hand would get him when he was needed.

Well, that's all for now. It's taking me a while to update anything right now, so it might be a while before I update this again. Sorry for any inconvenience. Please R&R, no flames, but constructive criticism is fine. Gamer4 out.


	5. Alien Guests

Gamer4 in. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. But I'm back now, so let's get started.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Stop accusing me! (Runs away sobbing.)

Chapter V

Alien Guests

Back outside the door, Kirby was on the ground, having just been hit by a rogue falling gargoyle. Meta Knight was speaking. "I told you, didn't I?" he was saying. "I said, jump when I say three! Didn't I? But do you listen to me? No, nobody ever listens to Meta Knight."

"Well, it's not like it was a trap or anything," Kirby said, not feeling sad at all.

"There was a big X right where you were standing!" shouted Meta Knight.

"Coincidence," said Kirby, still smiling.

"You know, I'm really sick of you," Meta Knight said. "The way your solution to everything is to eat, the way your only real power is to steal _other _people's powers, the way you never think anyone could be evil, and the way you always smile when your being insulted!" Guess what Kirby was doing while Meta Knight was saying all this. Meta Knight looked like he was about to say something else, but at that moment, the door was opened by a giant hand in a glove.

"Good evenings, we been-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, just let us in," Meta Knight said. The two balls walked in, looking around as they did.

"Teh cook just got here," Crazy said. "You wants someting?"

"How about some hot chocolate?" Kirby asked.

"I be right back." With this, the hand zoomed away. Kirby walked over to the phone.

"Who are you calling?" Meta Knight asked.

"King Dedede. I want to apologize for wearing away at his hammer the last time he saw me."

"Kirby, he hit you with it, trying to knock you unconscious. He does that almost every time you see each other."

"No, he just keeps losing control of his hammer," Kirby said as Meta Knight facepalmed.

Kirby dialed, and held the phone up to his ear. "Hello? Hello?"

"Is anyone picking up?" Meta Knight asked.

"No. That's weird, it's not even ringing."

"Let me try," said Meta Knight. Sure enough, there was no ring. Looking around, he found the cut phone cord. "Look at this," he said to Kirby, just as Crazy came back in.

"Teh cook ish makings hot chocolate," he said. "I takes you to your rooms!"

"There's something wrong with your phone," Kirby said.

"Oh, that," said Crazy. "Yeah, it been out a while."

"Oh, really?" Meta Knight said. "This cord seems like it was cut only an hour or two ago."

"Oh, lighten up, Meta Knight," Kirby said. "The cup's always half empty for you." Turning to Crazy, he said, "So, where are our rooms again?"

"I take you tare!" Crazy said, running up the steps. The two marshmallows followed him.

XXXX

Just outside the mansion, four more people were looking around. Fox, Falco, Olimar, and Captain Falcon were walking up to the mansion. Olimar was shuddering like they were in a blizzard. "Are you sure this is the right place?" he asked, looking up.

"Oh, come on, what could possibly go wrong?" Captain Falcon asked.

"Stop tempting fate!" Olimar said, looking around nervously, like he expected a piano to drop out of the sky.

"Oh, come on, Olimar," Falco said. "What _is _the worst that could happen?"

"Well, he does have a point about tempting fate, Falco," Fox said. "It's never a good thing."

"Oh, lighten up, Fox 'Glass-Half-Empty' Mcloud!" Falco said. "We both know Game-and-Watch, and honestly, I think we could take him on if he attacked us."

"Is that likely?" Olimar said, looking around like he expected a mad ax-man to burst out of the shadows.

"So what is it?" Captain Falcon asked.

"I've never seen one before," Fox said, "No one has. But I'm guessing it's a-"

XXXX

Back in the mansion, Crazy had just gotten the two dreamland warriors to their room when the doorbell rang again. He rushed back downstairs to find the four at the doorstep. "Welcomes!" he said.

"How did you know we were here?" Falco said, looking surprised.

"Yous rang teh doorbell!"

"No we didn't! What kind of doorbell do you have?"

"It a scream! Iz heard a scream!"

"Oh, that was Olimar, when that gargoyle came down," Fox said, motioning to the shattered remains of a gargoyle. For the first time, Crazy noticed that Olimar had fainted.

"Oh," he said. "Well, Iz show you to yous rooms!"

"Okay," Fox said. As Crazy led them up, Captain Falcon started up again.

"So what is it?"

They all turned to stare at him.

"Only joking," he said.

Well, it might not be the best, but here's the next chapter. Please R&R, constructive criticism is fine, flames are bad. Oh, and a cookie to anyone who can guess where the "So what is it?" thing came from. Gamer4 out.


	6. Past, Present, Future

Gamer4 in. Nothing to say.

Disclaimer: Okay, I'm better now. I don't own anything but a copy of both Smash Bros. and Murder by Death.

Chapter VI

Past, Present, Future

A large group was currently walking up the mansion: Marth, Ike, Lucas, Ness, Red, Jigglypuff, Pikachu, Yoshi, and the Ice Climbers. (Sorry if it seems like I'm trying to rush this, but I don't want to waste 20 chapters just on describing how they all got there.) "Finally," Popo said. "I thought that ride was going to go on forever."

"_You?" _Yoshi said, panting after having run the whole way. "You were riding on me! How do you think _I _feel?"

"Oh, calm down," Red said, using a spare pokeball to carry Jigglypuff.

"Hey, I thought you only had three pokeballs!" Pikachu said, looking at him.

"No, I only have three pokemon. I have lots of pokeballs." Ike snorted when he heard this. "Oh, grow up!" Red said when he heard this. Ike had been displaying just how perverted he was since they had met on the road to Game-and-Watch's mansion. "Anyways," Red said, "Jigglypuff and I have an understanding: I only put her in pokeballs to carry her around, and she doesn't carve my heart out with a rusty spoon."

"Why a rusty spoon?" Ness asked. "Wouldn't a knife or something be better for that?"

"Because a spoon is dull, obviously," Lucas said. "It would hurt more."

"Will someone ring the doorbell already?" Marth asked, having become a little short-tempered on the long road from Altea to the mansion.

"Okay, okay, I'll take care of it," Ike said, going forward. Suddenly, a gargoyle came out of nowhere and hit him on the head.

"Oh, ****!" Lucas shouted, jumping backwards just as another fell towards him.

"Take cover!" Marth called, rolling to the side just in time to avoid another one.

"I'm not afraid!" Yoshi called.

"But we are!" Popo and Nana said simultaneously, pulling Yoshi back just in time to avoid one, two, three gargoyles. Ness jumped out of the way of his and sent thunder at the stone heading towards Red, who was just sitting there like a deer caught in headlights. Finally, the bombardment stopped.

"What was that?" Red said, looking around at them all. "Did you see that?"

"I think we might have noticed," Nana said, still shaking a little on Yoshi's back.

"How's Ike?" Marth asked. Just then, Ike groaned and stood up.

"Was that the welcoming comity?" he asked, looking up, unable to see whoever had thrown the statues.

"If they were, I'm not sure I want to stay," Lucas said, looking around. "Wanna head back, Ness?"

"Are you kidding?" Ness asked, his eyes sparkling with a light that meant that he wasn't going to leave unless he was dragged away by Godzilla. "This is the best offer I've gotten in a while! Ring the doorbell, Ike!"

Ike walked forward, looking around in case any more statues decided to hurl themselves at him. He put his finger to the button and pressed. They heard the scream.

"Oh, ****!" Lucas shouted.

"You keep using that word," Marth said, looking at him. "I don't think it means what you think it means."

"Relax!" Yoshi called out. "It was just the doorbell!"

"How do you know?" Popo said, cowering behind Yoshi's head.

"I have good hearing," Yoshi said. "It's part of being a dragon."

"Yeah, and the fact that it happened at the exact moment that Ike rang the doorbell, instead of a normal bell, had nothing to do with it, did it?" Pikachu said, looking at him.

"Whatever."

Suddenly, the door burst open. "Good evening! We been expecting yous!" the Crazy Hand said, resting on the tips of his fingers, finally starting to get tired of dashing around at the speed of sound.

"A... hand?" Ness asked, looking at him weirdly.

"Yeah! I teh Crazy Hand! I wish you meet my brudder, Master Hand! But he home right now. He no like dinner parties. I show you to your rooms!"

"Well, okay," Ike said. "Come on, people." With this, the party finally entered the mansion.

XXXX

Just as the door closed, two more figures came to the mansion. Ganondorf and Bowser both had marks from their recent brawl: Ganondorf had a purple eye and Bowser was missing one of his horns. Eventually, it had occurred to them that if the time they had been fighting had been spent on walking, they could have been there a while ago. They were finally walking up the path towards the front door.

"Finally!" Bowser grunted. Suddenly, he stopped. "Hold up," he growled.

"What is it?" Ganondorf asked in exasperation: he just wanted to get to the mansion.

"When I say run, run for the front door like a princess confronted with a mouse."

For a second, they were both still. Then Bowser shouted, "RUN!" so loud that the guests that were still in front of the house heard it and some panicked, and the two bounded forward. Bowser managed to get to the porch without anything happening. Ganondorf, however, moved so slow that the gargoyle fell _before _he reached the drop point. It shattered in front of him. He stepped over it, and, still running, moseyed up to the front porch.

"Only you could mosey and run at the same time," Bowser growled.

"Oh, keep your shell on," Ganondorf said. He reached for the doorbell. However, they heard a rumbling behind them. They turned to see the Kongs driving their karts up the path. "I notice _their _vehicles didn't break down," Ganondorf sneered.

"Oh, shut up," Bowser growled back. "Should we let those primates know about the gargoyles?"

Ganondorf considered this for a moment. On the one hand, it might redeem the two villains slightly to save the monkeys from danger. On the other, it would be hilarious to see them get hit. There was no contest. "No," he said. As he spoke, the monkeys reached the drop point, and were immediately rendered unconscious by flying statues. Bowser chuckled just as the door swung open.

Crazy burst out and called out, "Hey, guys! Good evening, we been-"

"Whatever," Ganondorf interrupted. "Are you the butler?"

"Yeah, I teh Crazy Hand. I shows you to yous rooms?"

"Go ahead," Bowser said. "Oh," he added, "I think a couple of guests got crushed by gargoyles."

"Oh, sorrys," Crazy said. "Teh roof old."

"Oh, don't apologize," Ganondorf said, grinning. "We just thought you should get them when we're in."

"Is on it!" Crazy said brightly, rushing in. The two villains grinned as they followed.

XXXX

Back in Snake's Semi truck, Sonic was groaning as he steered it towards the mansion. "Oh, I really hate you," he said. "Why didn't you tell me the battery was dead before I went for the gas?"

"I wanted to see if you'd go fast," Snake said. "I gave you the money to get the gas, and I'd just made you angry. Maybe you'd come back, maybe you wouldn't." Snake suddenly started speaking like he was in an old black and white detective film.

"Why don't you trust me?"

"Well, there's just something about hedgehogs that I just don't like."

"Maybe it's because hedgehogs eat snakes in the wild," Sonic said, barely attempting to disguise the threat.

"No, it's because the last time I trusted a hedgehog, it turned out he was working for an evil alien. I had to take his memory to stop him."

"Sounds like Shadow," Sonic said. "Well, sorry about that, buddy."

"Sorry, nothing, give me the change."

And that's all for now. Again, sorry if it seems like I'm rushing, but I don't want to waste too many chapters on the guests arriving. Anyways, please R&R, constructive criticism is fine, flames are bad. Until next time, Gamer4 out.


	7. The Final Guests

Gamer4 in. Nothing to say.

Disclaimer: Why can't you leave me alone, copyright people?

Chapter VII

The Final Guests

Upstairs in the drawing room of the mansion, Mario, Luigi, and Peach were waiting for the other guests. "I wish you'd known that mouse was real before you handed it to me," Peach was saying.

"Well, I thought it was-a fake," Mario said truthfully.

"Well, it's-a gone now," Luigi said. "The big, scary, mouse-a is gone now."

"Oh, shut up," Peach said, too princesslike to say anything more vulgar than that.

"Hey, what's going on, guys?" said a spastic-sounding voice by the door. "Did you see the insane hand? I wonder who else is coming? Well, they won't be better than Link, I mean, even you guys aren't, and you're the bosses, and-"

"Shut up, Toon," said a tired-sounding voice. "What's up, Mario."

The three guests turned to see the Hyrule guests and the Alien guests in the doorway.

"Hi!" Kirby said. "Did you see the falling gargoyles? The poor guy must have an old roof when his gargoyles start falling."

"It was an attempt on our lives!" Meta Knight growled. "Sorry about my hopelessly optimistic friend here. But I guess I shouldn't complain too much, since I wouldn't be here anyways if he hadn't invited me."

"Well, I guess that's true," Fox said, sidling in. "But I don't think the gargoyles were meant to kill us."

Both Falco and Meta Knight spoke at the same time. Meta Knight said, "Oh, you'd better not be going all optimistic on me too, you little-" But he was cut off by Falco saying, "Well, what else was it then?"

"Well," Fox said, looking a little thoughtful, "I think it was a warning. Someone's trying to frighten us, but why?"

"Well, whatever the reason is, they're doing a great job!" said four voices at once as Lucas, Ness, and the Ice Climbers came in, speaking with Olimar. Ness was the only one who hadn't spoken.

"Oh, we can't let a little thing like falling gargoyles and screaming doorbells scare us!" Captain Falcon said.

"Then again," said another voice, as Samus and Pit came in, accidentally pushing Toon Link against a picture of a dragon on a wall, where he noticed something strange... "You wouldn't be afraid if there was a mad axe-man in here, would you?"

"Oh, will you please stop talking about mad axe-men?" Olimar said, looking around nervously, though it was harder to be scared when he was around this many of his friends.

"Yeah, it seems kind of unnecessary," Pit said. "Why don't we talk about how Job found his-"

"Okay, we don't really need to hear about it!" Link interrupted. "So, Samus," he said, getting closer to her, as the others started their own conversations, "Like I was trying to say earlier, treacherous roads are like-"

"Hey, Link," Toon Link said, moving over to him and pointing at the dragon picture on the wall. Link glanced at it and then continued speaking to Samus.

"Treacherous roads are like black-"

"Link!" Toon Link said, pulling at his sleeve, trying to make sure he'd seen correctly.

"I know," Link said, turning to him for a second, "the dragon's eyes are sticking out of the picture." With that, he turned back to Samus. "Treacherous roads are like black potions, you always have to-"

XXXX

Back in the parking lot, a Semi Truck pulled into the driveway. Snake and Sonic hopped out of it. "Well, we're finally here," Snake said. "By the looks of things," he added, looking at the lights in the mansion, "we're almost the last ones, if not _the _last. How does that make you feel? Angry? I mean, you just lost a race-"

"Shut it," Sonic said, looking towards the mansion. "You know, I don't think I like the looks of this place much." Fair enough, it did look very ominous: a creepy old mansion sitting at the top of a hill surrounded by mist.

"Well, it's part of the way of things," Snake said, talking like an old-fashioned detective again. "There's a number on the wall for all of us, and if tonight's the night they pick mine, than so be it." After a bit of consideration, he added, "Well, after you, Sonic," gesturing towards the door and dropping the detective accent. Sonic looked at him weirdly before walking up towards the mansion.

XXXX

Crazy was just finishing putting the monkeys in their rooms when he heard the doorbell. He shot down and flung the door open to see an anthro hedgehog standing at the door, looking horrified at a motionless figure under some rubble beneath him. "Holy ****," the hedgehog said, "He's dead!"

"Huh?" Crazy said, shocked that something like this had happened.

"Solid Snake, the man I work with, is lying out there, dead! He's been crushed by a gargoyle!" Suddenly the hedgehog collapsed from shock.

"You alright?" Crazy asked, looking at him. He suddenly felt himself being slammed against the wall and saw the figure that had been under the rubble pinning him to the wall with a gun aimed right at his non-existent face.

"Alright, freeze!" Snake shouted, slipping back into his detective impersonation. "Fingers up!" Apparently, he wasn't fazed at all by the fact that the thing he'd just pinned was a giant hand. "Get up, Sonic!"

Sonic jumped up and felt the Crazy Hand for any weapons he might be carrying. "He's clean!" Sonic declared, jumping away again.

"The gargoyle got here a couple seconds early!" Snake said, keeping his gun on Crazy anyways. "You invited me to dinner, but I didn't know I'd be on your wall!"

"Iz sorry for teh inconvenience," Crazy said, calming down a bit. "Iz put myself down now?"

However, Snake wasn't paying attention. He was reminiscing. "I had a little brother who died the same way," he was saying. "Crushed by a statue on a reconnaissance mission, three years ago. He would have been 74 yesterday."

"He random, huh?" Crazy asked Sonic, who nodded.

XXXX

After Crazy showed the two to their rooms, he went to the drawing room to announce that it was almost dinner time, and there would be soup for appetizers. He then shot down to the cook.

They all decided to wait in the library. As soon as they arrived, Pikachu found something strange. There was some sort of grotesque face on a plaque on the wall.

"What the heck is this?" he asked.

"It's a pokemon trophy!" Red said happily.

"You think everything is a pokemon trophy!" Marth said. They had learned this on the way to the mansion.

"That's pathetic," Ganondorf chuckled.

"Well, if you don't mind," Samus said, "I'm going to have a look around this place." With this, she headed out.

"Hey," Yoshi said, speaking up suddenly, "I wonder where everyone else is?"

"'Everyone else?'" Peach asked. "What do you mean?"

"I got it, too," Bowser said, standing. "We _are _all great heroes and villains. It's obvious that only the best of each are on the guest list."

"How did you figure that out?" Popo asked in astonishment.

"Well, it _was _on our letters," Falco pointed out.

"So what is it?" Captain Falcon asked.

"Well, I haven't seen one before. No one has. But I'm guessing it's a-" Fox started.

"Well, who else would be invited?" Zelda wondered out loud, interrupting Fox.

"Well, I'd bet Wario would be invited on our side," Ganondorf said.

"And Wolf!" Bowser said. "Don't forget him!"

"Oh, yeah, he's always great at parties," Fox said sarcastically.

"Who else?" Kirby asked.

"Well, there's-" Ness started, but was cut off by a new arrival.

"Solid Snake," said Snake, jumping in wearing a white suit. Sonic was behind him, looking the same as he ever did. "Sorry I'm late, but we got held up at the door by those concrete Christmas presents. You guys?" They all nodded. "We also met these guys on the way downstairs." Behind him was Wario and Lucario.

"You're Wario's guest, Lucario?" Red asked, knowing how proud Lucario was.

_It was the best offer I got, _Lucario admitted.

"So you _were _invited, huh?" Ganondorf said, as the two villains motioned Wario over. Wario hadn't dressed up at all. He was dressed in his usual jacket, fingerless gloves, and jeans.

"Yeah, I know this Game-and-Watch guy."

"Boy, you wouldn't believe-" Samus said, coming back in. Suddenly, she noticed Snake. "Snake!"

"You wouldn't believe snake?" Toon Link asked, looking confused again. "Why not?"

"Solid Snake!" she said, coming over. "What's been going on?"

"Samus Aran," he said. "You got an invite, huh?"

"Why else would I-" Samus started saying, not sounding angry, when they were interrupted by Crazy bursting in.

"Here da last guests!" he said. "Wolf O'Donnel and King Dedede!"

Into the room came Wolf, dressed in his uniform, and Dedede, dressed in his usual robe and carrying his hammer. "What up, dogs?" he said, moving over to the "Villains" are of the library. As Crazy rushed out, Dedede followed.

"So you _were _invited," Fox said, in a much different voice from Ganondorf welcoming Wario.

"I see you were, too," Wolf said, growling.

Suddenly, they were cut off by a loud noise. They all turned to see Olimar and Lucas trembling. They realized the noise was a moan coming from the face Toon Link had noticed earlier.

"What is it?" Pit wondered.

"It-a looks like a death mask," Mario said.

"It's-a like he's going through his-a final moments of a-death," Luigi said, looking at it in wonder.

_What does it mean? _Lucario wondered out loud, literally.

"It mean dinner ready!" said a voice from the door. They turned to see the Crazy Hand. "We don't got a gong!"

One by one, they all headed into the dining room, leaving the room behind, blissfully unaware of what was going to happen there.

Finally, all the guests are there! I was starting to wonder if we'd ever get there. Anyways, please R&R, constructive criticism is fine, flames are bad, Gamer4 out.


	8. The Games Begin

Gamer4 in. I wish I had something to say, but I don't, so allow me to say bluntly that I don't have anything to say, and therefore stretch out the author's notes way longer than necessary by ranting about how I don't have anything to say, which makes it look like I _do _have something to say, even though I don't. There. A whole paragraph on how I don't have anything to say. Have you ever seen anything more pointless?

Disclaimer: I won't stretch this one out. Sad story, but I don't own Murder by Death or Super Smash Bros., or any franchises connected with the latter.

Chapter VIII

The Games Begin

One by one, all the guests walked into the dining room, which was incredible long to accommodate the thirty-odd heroes and villains. There were several fake stuffed heads on the walls, including moose, deer, dragons, and goombas. Though none of them noticed as they sat down (Ganondorf last, predictably enough), something had happened to the fake mounted head of a gigantic dragon on the wall: the eyes were pulled out and replaced the eyes of another figure, who didn't technically have any eyes. They saw that their names were at their places, and sat down there. Mario was the only one who didn't sit down right away. After everyone else sat, he cleared his throat. "Ladies and-a gentlemen," he started.

"And pokemon!" interjected Pikachu.

"And toons!" Toon Link added.

"And anthros!" Wolf called out.

"Okay then," Mario said, "Heroes and-a villains. Happy?" They all nodded. "Heroes and-a villains, I would like to make a toast."

"But we're already having dinner," Lucas said, confused.

"Not that kind of toast," Ness said to his friend.

"Who are you toasting, my homie?" King Dedede asked, still speaking like a gangster.

"To-a Mr. Game-and-Watch," Mario continued. "A pretty- um, unique- guy. For one thing, he's-a succeeded in gathering the world's best a-heroes and villains. Why? Who can-a tell?"

"Another point," Snake said, standing up, "He's set all these traps for us. Like that bridge that almost broke and those gargoyles at the front door."

"Speaking of which," Bowser said, "has anyone seen the monkeys?"

"The kongs?" Samus asked. "No. Why, do you think they were invited?"

"Oh, never mind," Ganondorf said quickly. "Go on, Snake."

"I think he might be trying to knock us off."

"No," Fox and Kirby said at once.

"I'm tired of this optimism!" Meta Knight said.

"No, not because he wouldn't," Fox said, "but if he was really trying to kill us, he would have done so already. I think he was just trying to get us ready for what he really has planned."

"Which is?" Olimar asked nervously.

"Who can tell?" Fox said. "Whatever it is, he could have already killed us if he wanted."

"Thanks for the confidence boost," Lucas said, looking over at Snake, who wasn't paying any attention to the conversation whatsoever since his comment about the traps. He wondered what was running through his mind.

"Oh, whatever it is, we'll take it on!" Captain Falcon said. After a short pause, he added, "So what is it?"

"Oh, somebody punch him out!" Falco nearly shouted. Ganondorf obliged, knocking Captain Falcon on the head into the table. He bounced back, conscious but injured.

"Hey, I have a third point!" Pit suddenly spoke up. They all turned to him, though Ganondorf and Falco were still beating up Captain Falcon. "Why all these heroes and villains instead of just one or two?"

"Easy, he just wanted more friends!" Kirby said.

"I bet he wanted to trap us!" said the infinitely paranoid Olimar.

"The more, the merrier?" Sonic said, though he wasn't completely sure.

"No," Mario said over all the hullabaloo of guessing heroes and villains, "Because he wants-a to take us all on-a. Whatever he-a has planned for us, he-a wants us all-a to be involved."

_Can you just finish your toast already? _Lucario thought.

"Okay, okay," Mario said, moving on. "What I'm trying to-a say is: with all these other points, I would-a like us all to-a raise our glasses to either a wonderful, charming-a man, or a horrible, fiendish madman."

"I hope it's the first," Olimar said.

"Wimp!" Captain Falcon called, while still being beaten to a pulp by his fellow guests. "There won't be any fun if he's not a madman!"

"Okay, can you lay of Falcon already?" Samus said, looking at them.

"Okay," Falco said, sitting back down. Ganondorf reluctantly went back to where he was sitting.

Mario was about to drink his glass in a toast when Pit suddenly shouted out, "WAIT! DON'T DRINK IT!"

"Why-a not?" Luigi asked: everyone around the table had suddenly stopped with their glasses halfway to their mouths.

"I have another point," Pit said.

"You seriously just stopped us for that?" Sonic said, looking past his partner, Snake, who was still staring off into the distance, towards the angel.

"Yes, it's important," Pit assured them. "The fourth point: This wine is poisoned!"

Kirby, who had just taken a mouthful in, spit it out onto the table. "Oh, poor Game-and-Watch!" he said. "He must have accidentally knocked rat poison-"

"AAARRRGGGHHH!" Meta Knight shouted in exasperation.

"No, it's not rat poison," Pit said. "It's an ancient herb that only grows in the land of Medusa! It kills instantly!" The only one who didn't look surprised at this was King Dedede, who looked thoughtful. To demonstrate his point, Pit took his glass and poured it onto the table, where it steamed and left scorch marks.

"Well, I guess I have to thank you now, for saving my life," Bowser growled.

"Well, not exactly, my main koopa," Dedede said. And with that, he downed his whole glass in a couple of seconds. Wolf, for a second, made a motion to stop him, but it was too late.

"Oh, no!" Lucas said, hiding his face in his hands.

"Oh, you don't have to worry, soul brotha," the penguin said. "I realized: Pit was the only one who would be able to recognize the stuff, so he was the only one who got tested. I got another point, my homie," he nodded at Mario here, "Mr. Game-and-Watch is both charming and fiendish." Suddenly, he doubled over.

"Mario!" Peach cried, turning to him, "put on your doctor outfit!"

"No, no," Dedede said, straightening up again, "it wasn't poisoned. I just forgot that penguins hate wine."

XXXX

Back in the kitchen, the Crazy Hand was picking up the soup for the guests, while not realizing that the tureen he was using was empty, because, of course, R.O.B. hadn't realized he was supposed to cook anything. "Iz don't smell anyting," Crazy said, pouring the nothing from the pot to the tureen. "You light on seasoning?" Of course, there was no answer. The robot was leaning back in his chair, watching him and wondering what he was doing. He probably didn't even realize that there were guests there. "Youz done wit teh menu yet?" When he got no answer, he assumed that R.O.B. was just being shy or something. He rushed out with the soup.

XXXX

As this was happening, the guests had gone through several more tests, and so far, nothing worse had happened than the top being shaved off of one of Mario's best hats.* Suddenly, Ike looked up, still thinking about the poison. "I just realized," he said, "the poison makes the hand look pretty suspicious. I mean, he poured it, right?"

"But he's insane," Yoshi said. "How would he know who to serve the poisoned glass to?"

Just then, the Crazy Hand burst in carrying the soup. "Whatup, guys?" he asked, rushing around the table.

"Who poured the wine?" Pikachu asked, electricity crackling on his cheeks with suspicion.

"Teh boss, Game-n'-Watch," Crazy said, still trying to decide who to serve to first. "He tell me to give teh winged guy the one with teh cherry in it."

"Did you ask why?" Olimar asked nervously, still on edge from his chair almost collapsing under him into a trap door.

"I lucky to find teh wine," Crazy confessed. Finally, he decided on Red. He flew over to him. "Soups?"

"Yes, please!" said Red eagerly; he hadn't eaten in a while. Crazy opened up the tureen and started using the ladle to take nothing from it and pour the nothing into Red's bowl. Red stared at the giant hand for a little bit, waiting for him to realize what was wrong with the picture. When he showed no signs of doing so, he finally gave a little cough. "Um, Crazy," he said, looking at him, "Where's the soup?"

"It in your bowl, isn't it?" Crazy asked.

"There's nothing in my bowl but my bowl," Red said, looking confused.

"Huhuhuhuh?" Crazy asked, equally confused.

"Taste it and see," Red said.

"I can't. I just a hand."

"Then stick your hand in the tureen."

Crazy obliged. For a second, nothing happened, then Crazy said, "I gets it. Just a sec: I got to have talk with teh cook." Taking the tureen with him, he sped over the table and back into the kitchen.

"Murder by starvation," Sonic said drily. "Maybe that's his game, huh, Snake?" He turned to his partner, who, he now saw, was staring at the wall.

"I don't know," Snake asked. "Why don't you ask the dragon on the wall? After all, it's been watching us since we got in here."

Everyone turned to see what Snake was staring at. Sure enough, there was the stuffed dragon's head with the face watching out of it. As they watched, it withdrew into the dragon again and replaced the eyes.

*There's really no explanation for this, it's just an inside joke.

Well, that's all for now. Next chapter: We finally meet the elusive Game-and-Watch. But what does he want? Why did he invite them all? Why am I asking all these questions? Please R&R, constructive criticism is fine, flames are bad, Gamer4 out.


	9. Mr GameandWatch

Gamer4 in. Nothing to say.

Disclaimer: I don't.

Chapter IX

Mr. Game-and-Watch

For the first time in a while, Crazy Hand was angry. He was in the kitchen, shouting at the cook- or he thought he was, at least. "Thirty-someting guests for dinner, and I serving tem hot _nuting!" _he raged, with R.O.B. staring at him, uncomprehending. For a second, he calmed himself, muttered, "It impossible to get good cooks nowadays." Getting angry again, he flung the back door open and motioned out of it. "I want you gone, got it? _Gone!" _R.O.B. just stared as the hand flung an imaginary person out the door, shouted, "And stay out!" and slamming the door. Naturally, he had no clue what he was doing and watched as Crazy started making dinner himself.

XXXX

Back in the dining room, Link looked up. "I just realized something," he said.

"Oh, not again!" Lucas said, looking around for more boulders.

"What is it?" Falco asked.

"The seating's wrong," Link said, looking around. "I'm sitting next to Zelda."

"Well, isn't she your wife or something?" Ganondorf asked, a little bitterly.

"Well, yes, but at the dinner parties in Hyrule, people who were married didn't sit next to each other. I should be sitting where Wario is." He gestured to where Wario was engaging in one of his favorite past-times, which is too gross to describe here, and said, "would you mind trading seats with me?"

Wario glanced over and saw Zelda, and said, "Oh, that'll work all right," with a little laugh. As soon as the two sat up, the swords that had been hanging on the wall behind them fell onto their chairs point down.

"Just as I thought," Link said, looking up. "Another test that could have killed us, only saved by the fact that I'm in with royalty."

"Lucky it wasn't me," Dedede said drily. "I'd be penguin soup by now."

As Link and Wario reached to pull the swords out of their chairs, the lights suddenly flicked off. Aside from the fake lightning still crashing outside the window, they had no light whatsoever.

"Oh, ****!" Lucas shouted.

"Dude, where did you learn _that?" _Dedede asked, looking over at where he assumed Lucas was sitting.

"He has a colorful vocabulary," Ness confessed.

"What the heck just happened?" Captain Falcon asked.

"What d'ya think?" Wolf growled.

"Turn on the lights!" Olimar called out.

"How-a?" Luigi asked.

"What the heck just happened?" Captain Falcon asked.

"Everybody quiet!" Samus shouted, quieting everybody up instantly.

"What is it?" Link asked.

"Somebody just came in!" she said.

"Oh, dat just me," Crazy's voice said.

"What's that you've got?" Bowser asked, seeing that Crazy was carrying something.

"It oatmeal. Sorrys, but it all we got."

"Beat it!" Ganondorf said, kicking the hand back through the door. He wasn't hurt too much, and rushed back into the kitchen.

Suddenly, another voice spoke out. "Good evening, heroes and villains," it said, sounding strangely deadpan. "I'm your host, Mr. Game-and-Watch." All the lights suddenly started flickering, and smoke hissed in through the vent, and through the muddle of colored lights and smoke, they saw several shapes near the chair at the head of the table, which looked like a picture of the same figure in different positions all heading towards the chair. The one furthest from it was pure black. Suddenly, it turned transparent, and the next one became solid, and so on, until the last one was pure black, right on the chair. The others disappeared, the smoke stopped coming and curled away, and the normal lights turned on. When they could all see again, they saw Mr. Game-and-Watch sitting in the chair.

"Nice entrance," said Ike, impressed.

"Thank you," Game-and-Watch said, still in that deadpan voice. "I thought it was impressive. I like illusion. Now, I hope you've all been made comfortable?"

"Comfortable?" Link asked, looking at him in astonishment. "You call poisoned wine and falling swords comfortable?"

"No, I call it amusing," Game-and-Watch said.

"Then explain-a all the attempts-a to end our games!" Mario said.

"What are you talking about?" Toon Link asked.

"Oh, nothing," Peach said.

"The attempts to bump you off?" Game-and-Watch asked. "Just games, Mario. I want to see if you really are up to my challenge. I wouldn't want to make things _too _unfair."

"Well, I don't want to hurt your feelings," Kirby said, "but since we've been here for awhile, and all we've seen is your house falling apart and accidentally putting our lives in danger-" this earned a groan from Meta Knight, "and we haven't had any sign of dinner yet, I'll head back to dreamland."

"I'm with you, dog," Dedede said, standing.

"Wait for me!" said Olimar.

"No one is leaving this house!" Game-and-Watch said, pushing a button on the arm of his chair. Suddenly, every door in the house locked, and bars went over all the windows. "The way won't open 'till dawn," he said, "more than enough time to go through my challenge.

"What challenge, exactly?" Marth said, actually a little interested.

"The thing I need to start off with is," Game-and-Watch said, "I have decided to prove, beyond any and all doubt, that the greatest living hero that ever lived is sitting at this table, and you're all looking at him."

They all started looking around. Mario glanced at Samus, Samus at Kirby, and Kirby at Dedede. Link took out a mirror, with Zelda staring at him in exasperation, and Toon Link in borderline worship. Wario looked at Samus too, though not necessarily because he thought she was the best, and Pit looked at Marth. Overall, out of all the guests, even the villains, the only one not getting looked at was the host. "No, don't look at each other!" Game-and-Watch said, sounding annoyed. "Look at me! I'm the boss! I'm number one!"

"More like number two, if you ask me," Snake said, as Sonic snorted.

"What does that mean, Samus?" Peach asked, being to princesslike to know, and knowing that Samus was more streetwise.

"I'll tell you later," Samus said, leaning back. "It's disgusting."

Mr. Game-and-Watch spoke again. "In all of your various adventures, you've never had an opponent who got away undefeated. Even all you villains are extremely capable. Your reputations _rely _on this. But what would the worlds* say if the best heroes and villains found themselves trapped in a mansion for the weekend, only to discover a dead body on the floor, and none of them, even with each other's help, was able to find the murderer?"

"Murder?" Olimar said, shrinking in his chair.

"Exactly!" Game-and-Watch said. "On the stroke of midnight in this mansion, someone is going to be murdered viciously."

"You're leaving out one detail," Ganondorf said. "Who's the victim?"

"Now we come to it," Game-and-Watch said, sounding happy. "The victim is sitting at this table, right now, and so too, ladies and gentlemen, is the murderer!"

"Hold on, dog," Dedede said, realizing something, "Are you saying you knows who's gonna cop it?"

"Right!" Game-and-Watch said, satisfied that his guests were following.

"And who's going to do it?" Pit asked, looking at him weirdly.

"Exactly."

"And even the exact time?" Zelda asked.

"Indeed."

"Well, doesn't that mean you're the murderer then?" Peach asked.

"No princesses," Game-and-Watch said, looking away from her, "I refuse to discuss this with princesses."

"Well-a, she's right, isn't she?" Mario asked. "All fingers-a do seem to point-a to you."

"I'll make it more interesting, if you want," Game-and-Watch said, leaning back in his chair. "A million dollars to the one who solves it. To those of you who don't use dollars," he added, "I'll still make it worth it. That's a million rings, rupees, jewels, coins, or whatever else you use back home. It's," here he checked his watch, "11:00, an hour until someone in this room gets it." With this, he pressed another button on his chair, and the lights all went out again.

Several of the guests jumped up. "Grab him!" Meta Knight called out.

Too late. The lights suddenly flickered back on, and he was nowhere to be seen. "He vanished!" Kirby exclaimed.

"No he didn't!" Pikachu said, looking down the table and seeing him sitting in the chair at the other end.

"Fast, aren't you?" Red asked.

"Oh, I never moved," Game-and-Watch said. "I'm still at the head. I said, I'm the boss, and I meant it."

"Wanna bet?" Snake said, and he pulled out a gun.

"Try it!" Game-and-Watch sneered.

"Oh, you wanna up it?" Snake asked, and he pulled out a bazooka.

"Wait!" Game-and-Watch said, sounding afraid for the first time. "Wait. I might be down here after all." As Snake put away his bazooka, Game-and-Watch calmed himself. "You win this round," he said, sounding like his old self again, "but my turn _will _come at midnight." He pushed still another button on his chair. The doors to the dining room opened behind him and the chair started moving, carrying him backwards through them. As soon as he was through them, they closed again. For a moment, there was silence.

"I hope he knows how to stop that thing," Kirby said.

That's all for now. Please R&R, constructive criticism is fine, flames are bad, Gamer4 out.


	10. Of Hands and Red Herring

Gamer4 in. Nothing.

Disclaimer: AAARRRGGGHHH!

Chapter X

Of Hands and Red Herring

For a second, all was silent. Lucario was the one to break it. _Well, _he said, _I don't know about you guys, but I think that any man who offers a million _anything _to solve a crime that hasn't been committed yet isn't exactly playing with a full deck, if you know what I mean._

"So, now we're just waiting around to be killed by a mad ax-man?" asked Olimar, wringing his hands nervously. "I told you not to tempt fate, Captain!"

"You tempted fate?" Wolf stood, shouting. "I don't even care which captain you're talking about, you're gonna die, Fox!" He started moving towards where Fox was sitting. Captain Falcon made no moves whatsoever to stop him.

"Hold up!" Yoshi said. "Does anyone think something's a little weird here?"

"Hey," the Ice Climbers said, "the butler hasn't come back yet!"

"Toon, go check on the hand," Link said.

"Okay, Link!" Toon said, and, without thinking, jumped up and moved towards the door to the hallway between the kitchen and the dining room.

"Wait! Stop!" Red called out. "Stop him, Pikachu!"

Pikachu summoned a bolt of lightning that blocked Toon Link, but somehow didn't hurt the house.

"What is it, Red?" Meta Knight asked.

"No one can leave this room!"

"Why not?" Peach asked, looking surprised.

"I get it," Samus said. "Mr. Game-and-Watch said that the victim was sitting at this table. If none of us leave this room, the murderer can't kill anyone without us seeing, right?"

"No, I just don't want to lose any potential human shields," Red said, leaning back again.

"No, Samus is right," Falcon said. "If no one leaves, the murderer will have to do the killing in front of us!"

"I'm not leaving!" Olimar said instantly, sitting down at his chair.

"Well, I guess-a we won't either," Mario said, as he and his guests sat down.

Eventually, they all decided to stay. "Hold hands, everyone!" Peach called out. "The links are stronger-"

"How many Links are there?" Toon Link asked, looking confused.

"The links are stronger," Peach continued, like she hadn't heard this, "when the chain's unbroken."

Everyone held hands with the people next to them, some with more reluctance than others.

They sat in silence for a while. Finally, the Ice Climbers started chanting, and one by one, others started in too. "Ommm... ommm... ommm..."

Suddenly, Ness looked up and said, "Bop-bopidy-bop."

"Ommm... ommm... ommm..."

"Bop-bopidy-bop."

"Ommm... ommm... ommm..."

"Bop-bop-idy-bop."

"Ommm... ommm... ommm..."

"Bop-bopidy-bop."

Finally, Meta Knight snapped. "WILL YOU STOP IT?" he shouted.

_Five minutes later..._

"Stop it," said Snake, who was holding hands with Sonic and Lucas. A couple seconds passed. "Stop it, I said," he repeated, looking at Lucas weirdly.

"What's going on?" Pit asked.

"The spazzo keeps trying to start a thumb war."

"That's kind of... random," Ness said, holding Lucas's other hand. "Best two out of three?"

_Five more minutes later..._

"Does anybody have a sudden ominous feeling?" Yoshi asked.

"Yeah, I feel it too," Pikachu said, looking around.

"Oh, what's the worst that could-" Ganondorf started, but was cut off by the door to the hall burst open. R.O.B. came bursting out of it, making wild motions with his hands, unable to speak but obviously terrified.

"What is it?" Sonic asked, standing and looking at the horrified robot.

"Is something wrong in the kitchen?" Peach asked, joining the guests surrounding the robot.

"With dinner?" Yoshi asked, jumping up with a sudden sense of urgency.

"Hold on," Wolf said, realizing something. "I think this thing can't talk."

"How do you know-a?" Luigi asked.

"It says on this letter he just gave me," Wolf said, holding it up. "Hold on, I think it says something else." He looked closer and read out:

_It's the hand in the kitchen. I think he's dead. _There were a couple seconds of silence, then Wolf read on. _My name is R.O.B. I don't work on weekends._

"Well-a," Mario said, realizing something, "We have to a-leave the room now-a, to investigate this-a."

"I agree," said Samus. "Okay, Red, Ness, Yoshi and I will go."

"Alright!" Red said, jumping up. "Finally, something's happening! Come on, Pikachu!"

"Come on, Lucas!" Ness said, trying to convince his friend to leave his chair.

"Are we coming?" the Ice Climbers asked Yoshi.

"Of course you are!" the dragon said. "You came with me, now you're doing it again!"

"Pit?" Samus said, looking at the angel, who was already standing up. "Okay, let's go."

One by one, the ten of them went through the door. They turned a corner and saw the kitchen door. "Okay," Red said, "we've got to be careful. In every movie I've seen, it's the ones at the front who get it first."

"Are you sure?" Yoshi asked. "In all the horrors I've ever seen, it's the ones in the back who cop it first, so the ones in the front are blissfully unaware of the danger creeping up from behind."

"I'll be in the middle," Red said, moving into the center.

"Don't touch anything," Pikachu whispered. "There might be fingerprints."

"You've got it," Samus said, and, using her gloves, she opened the door to the kitchen. They walked in and saw that the robot had been right: Crazy was lying with his wrist on a chair and his palm and fingers on the table. He wasn't moving at all.

"Is he dead?" Lucas asked, cowering slightly.

"One way to find out," Pit said. "Someone's got to check him."

"And not touch him with fingers," Ness added.

"That's you!" Lucas said, pushing the Ice Climbers forward. They looked nervous, but picked up one of the insane hands fingers. They lifted it a little, then let it drop. Crazy didn't respond at all.

"He's dead alright," Red said, moving forward, much more keen to get in on the hero act now that he knew the hand wouldn't start spazzing out on them.

"How did the Crazy Hand die?" Samus wondered, stepping forward.

Yoshi was sniffing around. "Well, he wasn't shot or stabbed," he said. "There aren't any marks on him."

Pikachu jumped onto the table and saw an empty glass of hot chocolate. "Look at this," he said, bending down to inspect it.

"Poison!" Ness said. "Poor guy. Must have accidentally put some in his own cup."

"Or it could be the murder Game-and-Watch was talking about!" Pit said. "I guess we don't have to worry anymore."

"Hold on," Lucas said. "I thought Game-and-Watch said that the victim was at the table. Crazy wasn't."

They all looked up, realizing that he was right. Suddenly, Samus noticed something. "Look over there!" she said, jumping over to the other side of the room, where the knives were kept. "There's one missing," she said, pointing. "The butcher's one, I think."

At this point, the Ice Climbers and Lucas were shivering, though it was nothing compared to what Red was doing. "What time is it?" he said, holding onto a chair for support.

Samus checked her watch. "11:19 and 55 seconds. 56, 57," she looked up for a second. "Let me know when to stop," she said quickly, looking at Yoshi, "58, 59, 11:20."

"Stop!" Yoshi said. "It's 40 minutes to the murder. Crazy must have just been a red herring to distract us. We've got to head back to the dining room."

"Hold on!" Pit said, finding something. They looked to see him holding a scrap of paper.

"What's that?" Ness asked curiously.

"A bill," he said, looking a little weird at it. "Everything here's been rented for tonight: the food, the robot, the hand, everything like that."

"You don't mean..." Lucas said, biting his nails.

"You can't mean..." Popo and Nana said, chewing each others nails... through their gloves.

"Yes," Pit said. "This entire murders been... _catered!" _he announced dramatically.

"Well, let's head back," Pikachu said. They headed down the hall to the door to the dining room. Samus reached out and tried to turn the knob.

"It's locked," she said, turning back. "I can't open it."

"Well, whoever in there had the idea to lock the door to keep the killer out had a good idea," Red said nervously. "Though I wish they'd waited for us to come back."

"Hey, Pit," Samus said, putting her hand on the angel's shoulder, "do you mind going back and getting the key from the dead hand's pocket?"

"You don't really have to point out that he's dead," Pit said, looking resigned, "I already have to put my hand in his pocket."

So, the angel headed back to the kitchen to get the key. He opened the door, took one look inside, and fainted on the spot.

Oh, no, what could it be? Well, you'll find out... Please R&R, constructive criticism is fine, flames are bad, Gamer4 out.


	11. Empty Rooms and Gunshots

Gamer4 in. Nuting. (I spell it tat way in memory of teh Crazy Hand. R.I.P.)

Disclaimer: No! No! NOOOO!

Chapter XI

Empty Rooms and Gunshots

Pit woke up a few minutes later. "Oh, what happened?" he wondered, rubbing his head. Looking up, he saw something that almost made him pass out again, and had made him pass out in the first place.

The Crazy Hand was gone. The ten investigators had left the dead hand right where they'd found him, and he wasn't there anymore. But his glove was. It was sitting there, looking deflated from a lack of occupants, but it was there. Looking nervous, he stuck his hand in the pocket, which was near the wrist, and removed the key. He looked at his watch; 11:25. Thirty-five minutes until midnight. He hurried out.

XXXX

The other nine were sitting next to the door, playing poker with a set of cards Red had happened to find in his pocket. It had been about ten minutes since Pit left: long enough for them all to leave the group for a little to take a look around the mansion and for the others to generously memorize their cards. Pikachu was just coming back, and the Ice Climbers were hurriedly putting his cards back into place. "Man, Pit still hasn't come back?" he asked, sitting down again.

"No. I wonder what's keeping him," Yoshi said, looking at his pitiful hand. A two, a three, a four, a five, and a seven. Only the seven and two were the same suit. It was like the cards were trying to taunt him. He was willing to bet Samus had gotten a Royal Flush in her first hand. It would probably be safer than betting on his own cards.

Just as these thoughts cleared his mind, the angel himself burst in the room, panting slightly. "What the heck took you so long?" Pikachu asked, looking at him.

"Detour," he said, still trying to catch his breath. "Crazy's gone."

"So you didn't get the key?" Lucas asked, sounding disappointed.

"Oh, I got the key," Pit said, handing it to Samus.

"Where was it?" Ness asked.

"In his pocket."

"So Crazy was gone, but his pocket was still there?" Samus asked, looking bewildered.

"Yes!" Pit said. "Someone stole his hand, but left his glove."

"Oh, let's get back in that room," Lucas said. "I can't take it anymore." He took the key, put it in the lock, and turned. Samus led the way into the room.

On entering, one key fact registered in all their minds: the room was empty. The dining room looked exactly the same as when they'd left it, except there was no one there. "What the heck?" Red said, looking around.

"Where is everyone?" the Ice Climbers said, looking around Pit, who they were hiding behind.

"It looks like this room's filled with empty people," Pit said.

"What?" Samus asked, turning to him.

"Don't ask me," Pit said. "_I'm _not the one writing this story."

Lucas and Ness, meanwhile, were attempting to open the door leading to the entrance of the mansion. "It's locked!" they called back to the others.

"This is weird," Pikachu said. "Where did they all go? I mean, that door's locked, and we were at the other door for almost the whole time we were away. They couldn't have gotten out."

"I don't like this," Lucas said, cowering slightly. "I don't like this at all."

"I like it," Red said, "but I don't understand it."

As this all was happening, they didn't notice that the dragon's head on the wall was having its eyes taken out again.

"Maybe there's another way out," Ness said, starting to feel along the walls. "You know, a secret passage."

"Or a trapdoor!" Lucas said, starting to feel on the floor.

That's when they all heard the laughing. They looked up and noticed the dragon. "Wrong!" came Game-and-Watch's deadpan voice. "There are no secret passages in my mansion."

"What have you done with them, you 2-d jerk?" Red asked, looking up at him.

Game-and-Watch laughed again. "Stumped already. Stupid heroes. Need some clues, Pokemon Trainer?"

"Not from you!" Red said. "I can find my own clues!"

"Well, Link's not here," Pit said, "but if he was, I'm sure he would say something like, 'A Pokemon Trainer who says he finds clues is like a cucoo without wings: he gets nowhere fast.'"

"Shut it!" Red said. "I'm tired of those stupid Aesops."

"Well," the Ice Climbers said, "I bet he would say, 'The man who's tired of Aesops is like-'"

"AAARRRGGGHHH!" Red cried out. "I'm surrounded by idiots!"

"QUIET!" Samus shouted. They all shut up instantly, aside from a, "Holy ****," coming from Lucas.

"So, _do _you need a hint, Ms. Aran?" the deadpan voice said. Reluctantly, Samus nodded. Game-and-Watch took a deep breath, and recited a poem: "'This ring, no other, is made by the elves, who'd pawn their own mother to get it themselves-'"*

Suddenly, Pikachu cut him off. "Wait, what does this have to do with where the other guests went?"

"Oh, sorry, wrong poem," Game-and-Watch said. They heard a sound of paper being shuffled in the dragon's head, and he spoke again. "'You all mistake what you assume. They never _left _the dining room. Count the numbers, 1-10. Turn the knob and try again.'" They heard another laugh, and Game-and-Watch left the dragon's head, replacing the eyes.

"What the heck does that mean?" Ness said, looking around. "Of course they left the dining room. Where else would they be?"

"Wait," Yoshi said. "I think I'm starting to get it. He said not to mistake what we assume. Come on, we all need to get back into the hall."

"What are we doing?" Pit asked.

"I get it," Samus said, realizing the truth, too. "We assume that they left somewhere, but Game-and-Watch is saying that they're still here. Into the hall." One by one, they all filed out.

"I still don't see where this is going," Red said.

"Shut the door," Samus said, motioning for him to do so. He obliged.

"Why exactly are we-" Lucas started, but was cut off by Samus, who was counting on her fingers.

"Quiet, please," she said, still counting. "7, 8, 9, 10. Okay, open the door, please, Pit."

Pit, still looking confused, swung the door open. Inside, they saw the other guests. A few of them were pacing around, and others were just sitting and staring around. "Where were you?" Snake asked.

"What do you mean, 'Where were _we?'" _Pikachu asked. "Where were _you?" _

"What-a are you-a talking about? We-a never left," Mario said.

"You didn't?" the Ice Climbers asked.

"Well, we weren't supposed to, were we?" Toon Link asked, confused.

"So none of you left?" Lucas asked, moving back to his seat.

"No," Snake said.

"The answer is simple," Link said, standing. They all looked at him. For a moment, everyone was silent.

"Yes?" Sonic asked.

"The answer is simple," Link repeated, "but the question is very hard."

_What are you talking about, you stupid Hylian? _Lucario asked.

"It's one of his mottos," Zelda said. "'Answers are always simple. It's the questions that are hard.'"

"Passing over that," Meta Knight said, "where was the Crazy Hand?"

"Dead," Samus said. "He was poisoned."

"Oh, poor guy," Kirby said.

"But here's the thing," Yoshi said. "The butcher's knife was missing, even though he was poisoned."

"We came back to tell you, but the doors were locked," Red said.

"I went back to get the key from the hand's pocket," Pit picked up, "but he was gone, with his glove still behind."

"That's insane," Zelda said. "Who'd want to steal a dead, naked hand?"

"I'd tell you," Samus said, "but this fic is only rated T."

"Then we came back here," the Ice Climbers said, "and you were all missing!"

"But then Game-and-Watch came in and told us that you were still here," Ness continued the narrative. "So, we counted to ten and tried the door again, and here you were."

Suddenly, two loud cracks echoed through the house. "What was that?" Toon Link cried out.

"Gunshots!" Meta Knight called out, jumping to his feet.

"Okay," Mario said. "This time, Wario, Link, Fox, Snake and I will go and look in the kitchen."

"What if it was somewhere else?" Ganondorf asked.

"Yeah!" Bowser said. "I think Wolf, Marth, Captain Falcon and I should check the rest of the house."

"Okay," Samus said. "But I think you should all be quick."

One by one, the rest of the guests aside from the original ten left through the kitchen door or the door to the entrance. Lucas went over and sat next to R.O.B. "So, what do you think of all this?" he asked Pit.

"It's confusing, all right," th angel confessed.

*A whole box of cookies to anyone who recognizes this line.

That's all for now. Please R&R, constructive criticism is fine, flames are bad, Gamer4 out.


End file.
